We were a good match from the very beginning. We liked the same activities, loved singing and most music … although he preferred country-western, and I leaned toward classical.
We both loved to read and enjoyed the same foods. To top it off, we shared the same nationality and religious heritage. Karl said he knew from the first time he met me that I was “the girl for him!” I thought he was a really nice guy, but chose to guard my heart.
He called me every day … several times a day, actually and we had been dating steadily for a little over three months when he asked me to marry him. Wanting to do this “right” he chose to ask my father for permission to marry his daughter. My dad was pretty shocked at this turn of events and gave him a “hard time” … which still provides fodder for family jokes.
We were a good match from the very beginning.
The day of our wedding (we were engaged for 13 months) I willingly took my daddy’s arm and walked down the aisle. Karl was all I thought he was and more. He was kind, loving, attentive, and thoughtful.
He was very much like my dad in many ways with one additional quality my father didn’t possess. Karl could repair almost anything! He didn’t consider any job above or beneath him, and his skills quickly put him into the position of my parents’ favorite (and only) son-in-law!
One year and three months after we were married, our first son was born. My life was full. I adored my husband and our son was healthy and good natured…who could ask for more? Two years later, # 2 son was born, and Karl was offered a transfer to Traverse City. We left Detroit … all our friends and all our family to embrace this new opportunity. Our modest home sold in five days. We packed up and headed north.
I adored my husband and our son was healthy and good natured, who could ask for more.
With family and friends far away, every free moment was spent together. We loved each other before, but now our relationship moved to another level of intimacy. With our family and friends far away, he became my best friend as well as my loving partner. I truly centered my life around Karl and ordered my life to please him.
Soon after, I was pregnant again and gave birth to twin sons. I was busy! We were busy! Four quickly growing boys with lots of energy and one paycheck brought its challenges to our already frugal ways!
I truly centered my life around Karl and ordered my life to please him.
I met a young woman at church one afternoon who began sharing with me how important Jesus was to her and something deep inside was stirred by what she said. Karl and I were in church every Sunday, we attended pastor’s Bible class Sunday mornings, we tithed, we both sang in choir, and we considered ourselves committed Christians.
But as Carolyn spoke about Jesus being #1 … the most important person in her life … I knew it wasn’t that way with me.
Here was THE problem … Karl was the most important person in my life! From the time I had walked down that aisle on my daddy’s arm, Karl had been # 1! The desire to please him impacted all my decisions, and I wasn’t sure I could change that.
Here was THE problem … Karl was the most important person in my life!
I wrestled with this issue for no less than six months. It was in the back of my mind or in my active thoughts daily. At times, I wanted to shift God to the center–but the fear of possibly losing what I had was so frightening. I knew Karl would no doubt sense the change and our relationship could suffer.
What a ridiculous predicament! I loved my husband, and we enjoyed being together! We were committed and faithful to each other–yet the very thing that was good and seemed perfect was, in reality, out of balance and actually interfering with my spiritual growth.
One day–in a burst of faith–I made the decision to choose God over Karl. I never discussed this issue with my dear husband, just bravely took that leap and hoped for the best.
Just as I feared, he soon figured out that something was different. It didn’t take him long–maybe a couple weeks. One day, Karl came home from work and confronted me. “What is going on with you?” “What has happened to you?” “You are so different!”
I took a deep breath and explained all the fears I had been facing. How I had made a choice to put God in first place in my life. What a foolish woman I had been. He took me in his arms and said he was happy for me! A few weeks later, he made the same choice! The rest is history!
I’m grateful God gave me the grace to choose Him over the status quo! Karl and I are now able to share God’s love in a deeper and richer way … something I never imagined possible for us.
I’m grateful God gave me the grace to choose Him over the status quo!
We eventually brought God into our decision making process which–at the time–seemed pretty radical! We took up the practice of praying together every night at the foot of our bed, and daily reading the Bible to each other … something we continue today!
Everyone has a story to tell, thank you for letting me share ours! Share your story with us here. Strengthen your relationship by putting God in the center of your marriage. Join us for Rock Your Marriage.