By Miriam Rossow
I am so run down and empty. I find myself snapping at my children quicker and being fed up and frustrated with little things.
As I watched Justin run back and forth from the pitcher of water to the people and heard him run out of breath, I was overwhelmed with the fact that maybe I was doing the same thing in my life.
Right now I feel as though I am pouring out in so many places. My children are home from school so besides the end of year craziness that happens I now have them all at home. Which many moms who have school children home know is an adjustment for everyone.
I also have been able to share the blessings of our house with my sister-in-law and her family as they discern and search for the place where God would have them serve next. In doing this I have added children to my household. And although we have basically the same parenting style the differences are amplified as we live and parent in the same household.
My dad is battling cancer and complications with health that arise from cancer. He has recently entered hospice which simply means the doctors can do nothing else for him medically speaking. As we struggle and care for each other I am worn physically and mentally.
I am so run down and empty.
Tears streamed down my face as I realized how worn down I have been. I wondered and realized that maybe I was simply running back and forth between the source of comfort and those I was comforting. Have I actually been connected to the source in a way that I can be filled up and not find myself empty all the time?
As I sat at my computer that week after receiving news that was not welcome in regards to my dad’s health I heard laughter, conversation, and joy. There at the dining room table I realized that the very people that I felt I was pouring into were pouring into me.
There at the dining room table I realized that the very people that I felt I was pouring into were pouring into me.
And this was not the first time. Over and over again as I have received news and needed to react to it immediately our house guests, our family, have provided love, support, and a needed care giver for our children. They are able to bring laughter and joy into the life of my family where I am not able.
I also saw that over and over the people in the church who I know are hurt and need support are supporting me. There are two groups of women who I am studying with that have given me the needed support to cry, vent, and share. I am not just pouring into them; they are pouring into me and helping keep me connected to the source; Jesus!
What I see is that the St. Luke community is living a life in the Spirit. We are trying to be connected to the source, Jesus, while being connected and serving each other. I am so thankful to be part of this community and the greater community of followers of Jesus.
We are trying to be connected to the source, Jesus, while being connected and serving each other.
As I pour out I realize that I am being filled up. In fact as I stay connected to Jesus the source, in word and fellowship I am being filled up to overflowing. As I am filled up and overflowing I can serve those around me as they serve me.