By Miriam Rossow
It goes in cycles. I feel really close to God and feel like I am on the same page with Him. I want to spend time with Him in prayer and read His word. And then I get busy. I am not able to spend time with Him. I find myself wondering how I could have fallen away so far so fast.
Then, I am gently reminded and given time to spend in that relationship. I am prodded by something a friend says or does, and I realize I have not really talked to my God, my Creator, my Savior, my Friend in a while.
So I grab one of my Bibles and dust it off and open it up again. Often I pull something from worship, either tweets from my phone or notes I was able to write on the taking worship home bulletin.
I sit with the words that were so meaningful and touching and reflect and allow Jesus to talk to me. Then, my 4-year-old runs in and interrupts. This pattern happens often.
As I reflect now in a quiet office without my notes, I do have the online take home and previous tweets and current blog posts from a friend on a journey. All these things point me to the fact that God will never leave me, and even as I fail as a disciple in my half of the relationship, He is faithful.
Through our last speaker at MOPS, Lynn Corker, I am reminded that God never fails me . She spoke to us about her journey as God called her to minister to women in Africa and be ministered to by those same women. She said that she had to let go of past wants, failures, and losses in order to hear, trust, and receive the word of promise and hope that God was giving her.
I am reminded that God will never leave us as friends of mine have left everything–and I mean everything: friends, security, job, home, and stuff–to follow the calling of God. As they take this Trust Adventure, they have learned from the youngest of them to the oldest that God does not leave them and that He has everything they need set before Him.
I am reminded that as I fail to talk to God daily and fail in being an example of prayer and devotion to my children, Jesus does not forsake me. The disciples were found speechless in the garden after falling asleep. They fled in fear after Jesus’ arrest leaving Him alone in His deepest time of need. They failed Him and so do I daily. What does Jesus do next?
What does Jesus do next?
He does not yell at them to come back as I would have yelled. He does not give them the silent treatment as punishment as I would have thought to do. He does not treat them as though they mean nothing to Him and are no longer His friends as I would have done.
He continues on the walk to the cross. He continues on the walk that takes Him down the road of pain and loneliness. He continues down the walk that leads Him to the wrath of God the Father.
He does not fail.
I am sure I will continue this cycle of closeness and complete and utter failure. Sometimes I will say the right thing and do the right thing. Sometimes I will hurt those around me. Sometimes I will hold my tongue. Sometimes I will question what God is doing in my life and if He actually has control. Sometimes I will have a complete trust and understanding in His plans.
No matter how much I waiver, the one thing that stays the same is that Jesus will not leave me! He will not waiver. He will stay the course and be ever present!
He does not fail me even when I completely fail Him.