By Lydia Jentzen Will
A few weeks ago, my husband lost his job. I knew the moment he walked in the door that something was wrong, evident by how he avoided my eyes and absently patted the kids when they came up to greet him. He was distraught. Broken. Terrified and sick with worry. I hardly knew how to respond.
A few weeks ago, my husband lost his job.
After a few days of being the calm, supportive one, it was my turn. My turn to panic. My turn to cry. My turn to lay paralyzed in bed with anxiety. My turn to wonder what on earth God was thinking.
Why is he punishing my hard-working husband, my little family who’s just doing the best we can? We do our best to follow His leading from our family size to our finances, and now this? He gave us six babies. Why on earth would He allow this? I went from frightened and sad to downright angry.
I threw myself into being a support and encouragement to my husband. As a man, husband, father, provider – his self worth had been severely shaken and he was plummeting deep into a dark place. I did my best to encourage and reassure him while managing my own disappointments and fear and shielding our kids from the stress that plagued their parents.
I struggled to hold it all – the fear, the responsibility, the dread that was coursing through our family. I thought maybe if I just worked harder, prayed harder, pushed more – that I’d be able to get us through.
I thought maybe if I just worked harder, prayed harder, pushed more – that I’d be able to get us through.
Sitting in church on Sunday, listening to Pastor Matt preach, I realized – I’m not the center of this. This does not revolve around me, nor is it my responsibility to hold it all. Our successes or failures does not hinge solely on my ability to save us. I’m not the Savior in this story.
Each day gets a little bit better. As my husband works to find something new, I see the hope returning. The past few weeks have seen us supported and loved in ways that we would never have dreamed. From various job leads to my best friend just letting me give voice to all my fears and holding me in her understanding – we’ve experienced an outpouring of grace unlike anything we’ve ever known.
I’m not the Savior in this story.
When we allow Him to comfort us through the people He has placed in our lives, we can know the peace of His presence. The answer to our prayers is not always the solution that we were looking for, but God’s promise to never leave us or forsake us holds strong. And although sometimes He can feel so very far away, we see Him in the generous acts of love of those around us.
We hand the reins firmly over to Him – trusting implicitly in His unfailing love for us. This is His story, after all. We don’t know what the future holds, but we know Who holds it. Who is all goodness and mercy and loving kindness, who gently leads those with young. We can’t see the endgame, but we know it’s going to be all good, because He.is.all.good.
We don’t know what the future holds, but we know Who holds it.
This morning, I lay out his interview clothes. I start the coffee and make breakfast. My job is small things with great love – letting go of the rest. I find peace when I put our lives, our hopes, and our trust securely into His hands.
Thank you, Lydia, for sharing this information. I read with loving concern and took the need to heart. I will be praying for your family. May you continue to experience God’s Peace and provision in every area of your life. Love and blessings, Marie
Thank you so much for your prayers. They mean so much!
Lydia, so sorry to learn this! Your family is so important to us, and to our church family. We’ll pray for God’s leading and strength!
Thanks Roxanne! It’s been a rough few weeks but each day is a little bit better than the last.
Thank you for sharing Lydia. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. If you need anything, please let us know. Bridgitte
This very thing happened to our son, Steve, just a few weeks ago. I just have to tell you that God came through for Steve and his young family in a miraculous way! As you so well know, His ways are beyond our imagination. He will come through for you and Will. Sometimes it hard not to worry and to have faith when things look bleak–I know about that very well. I will pray for you and your wonderful little family and please let us all know the end of the story because I know it will be an amazing answer, just as it was for Steve. Meanwhile, your family is in our prayers and in our thoughts.
In this world we will have trouble! But thanks be to God, Jesus has overcome ALL of it and we have hope and peace that the world can never understand. I thank God for your honesty and sharing your struggles publicly. I also will pray for your current situation. God bless your family.
My husband was let go last year from a job he held for 25 years…praying for you. It is hard but He is good…
Beautifully said! Until one has experienced the tidal wave of emotions it is difficult to be able to associate the job loss experience. Bless your beautiful family. The Lord is with your family. Thank you for sharing.
“NO weapon formed against you shall prosper!!!” IS.54:17″ “If God be for us, who can be against us?” Rom 8:31….”Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear…” Psalm 27:3….”for in time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion…Ps.27:5. Take comfort in these and many such other promises in His Holy Word. You can trust in Him!!