By Megan Bahr
I am a mom of four precious gifts from God. And I am confident that parents know their children better than anyone, and their love for them is only second to God’s. Grandparents, and even aunts and uncles, who take a vested interest in the lives of these children also play very crucial roles in instilling the importance of a close relationship with Jesus.
I am a mom who has, as 3 John 1:4 says so perfectly, “no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” My husband and I, over the past five years since our first child was placed in our arms, have adopted a few ideas and practices into our daily lives to help us point our children to God and His Word.
Children as young as two love to point out shapes that they know. Most parents teach their children what a circle, triangle, and square are. We like to add the shape of the cross.
We start by pointing out the shape of a cross in our surroundings, such as on the face of a 6-panel door, a street sign, or the boards of a fence. We then take it a step further and ask why a cross is important. Eventually, as the child starts to proudly point out crosses that they see, the conversation continues something like this:
“Look, Mom! A cross!”
“You’re right! That is a cross. Why is a cross important?”
“It’s where Jesus died for our sins.”
“Why did He die for our sins?”
“Because He loves us so much!”
“What does that mean for us?”
“Eternal life!”
At first, we tell them the answers to these questions, but before long they love to show what they know.
Most parents teach their children what a circle, triangle, and square are. We like to add the shape of the cross.
Have you ever had a child just amaze you with their memory? Just the other day, my four-year-old son was recounting to me the time we went to the Milwaukee County Zoo and heard a lion roar.
We were quite a distance from the lion, but were amazed at how loud it still sounded. It was a memory I had long forgotten, but Andrew, who was two and a half at the time, did not.
Children can apply this incredible memory to learning Bible passages. We will pick out passages that teach our children about God’s character, Jesus’ love for them, or how important children are to God. For example, 1 John 4:16–“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”
Other passages teach them character traits we wish to instill in them. 2 Peter 1:5-7 – “Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.”
If we are dealing with a certain behavioral issue, such as lying, complaining, or a poor attitude, there is a verse for just about every misbehavior imaginable. Philippians 2:5, 14 – “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus…. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation,…” And Psalm 133:1 – “How good and pleasant it is when brothers (and sisters) live together in peace!”
Along with training and disciplining a child after a bad choice was made, we discuss how certain character qualities, virtues, and behaviors are important to God.
Recalling a Bible passage that we have learned gives more weight to our words. It takes away the use of empty phrases such as “because Mommy and Daddy say so ….” We behave certain ways because God, who created us and the world we live in, knows what’s best for us, and blessings often follow obedience to God’s ways and commands.
Children can apply this incredible memory to learning Bible passages.
A dear friend of ours introduced us to a wonderful company that creates outstanding music in which the lyrics are straight out of the Bible. The company is called Seeds Family Worship. Our entire family–including my husband, who has an ear for music–loves the songs. We play them at home and in the car.
We often catch ourselves singing the songs even when the radio is off. The best part is we aren’t only singing a song, we are reciting a Bible passage while we sing. Music is a great way to plant messages deep into our hearts with very little effort. It makes Bible memorization fun and simple.
Part of discipling children involves our role as gatekeepers to the outside world and influences. Phillipians 4:8 gives us great direction when it comes to choices in toys, shows, books, and activities that we offer to them: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”
We ask them, “Is what you are watching/doing/playing with/etc. something that Jesus would sit next to you and enjoy doing with you?” The more good we pour into our kids, the more good that will come out in their actions and words. As children mature, the gate opens wider, but not without discussion and holding up what they see and hear to the Word of God.
The hardest yet the most important part of discipling children is modeling for them what a life devoted to God should look like. How often do we as parents read our Bibles, do devotions, or pray, when the children are sleeping or away from the house, so we can have peace and quiet and really focus?
That used to make the most sense to me. How could I concentrate with little ones climbing on me? Quiet time with God is still needed, but it’s also very important that our children see us reading our Bibles and praying.
When my oldest sees me reading the Bible, she will now grab the Bible she got from St. Luke in her three-year-old Sunday school class, and tell me she is spending time with God too.
When my oldest sees me reading the Bible, she will now grab the Bible she got from St. Luke in her three-year-old Sunday school class, and tell me she is spending time with God too.
Not to sound cliché, but we’ve all heard that actions speak louder than words. Being a parent is such a huge privilege and with it comes a huge responsibility. If I want my children to be generous, humble, self-controlled, joyful … and the list goes on, I must be these things as well.
Oh, but I am by no means perfect! I fall short time and time again–daily and sometimes hourly, to be honest.
Just because I mess up, doesn’t mean it’s a lost opportunity for teaching. There is a great lesson to be learned in apologizing. When we tell our children that we messed up, we sinned, and we are very sorry, it points our children right back to the cross and emphasizes that we all need a Savior.
It gives them a chance to extend grace, love, and forgiveness. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).
Just because I mess up, doesn’t mean it’s a lost opportunity for teaching. There is a great lesson to be learned in apologizing.
I will even ask them to pray with me and ask God for help in an area I’m struggling with. In the words of Christian author and speaker, Ann Voskamp, “My kids don’t need to see a Super Mama. They need to see a Mama who needs a Super God.”
As a final encouragement to all parents, you are not parenting your children alone. The fact that you are a parent has very little to do with you, but has everything to do with God.
He chose you as the right parents for your children, because He knew you would guide them and train them according to His will so that they may live the life He intended for them.
He will continue to equip you with all you need to accomplish His will in their lives. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given him” (James 1:5). He also chose your children specifically for you, to mold you and teach you to be more like Him.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Christian psychologist and author Dr. James Dobson states that we should begin this training as early as possible. However, I would add that it’s never too late to start or to incorporate new things that will enhance the training we’ve begun.
